Be Sweet Page 27

  Mom’s comments smack of Dr. Phil, and I’m almost sure she’s recording his shows.

  “Guess I should follow my own advice to be sweet, huh?” Mom gives a chuckle, then goes back to her coffee.

  Okay, I didn’t see that one coming.

  “That’s an interesting way of looking at it,” Janni says, “and I think you’re right.” She turns to me. “I’m ashamed to admit it, but in a way I was trying to make you more like me.”

  “Yeah, like that’s gonna happen,” I say with a laugh. Mom and Janni laugh too.

  “It’s not going to happen because you’re wired differently,” Mom says. “And it’s okay to be different.”

  “It’s not that I thought I was better or anything, but, well, you have to admit I didn’t get into as much trouble as you.” Janni grins.

  Mom winks at me, then turns to Janni. “You both have so much to offer. Janni, people know they can always count on you if they need you. You’re dependable, and you have a servant’s heart.” Mom puts her hand on Janni’s arm. “You’re always there for your dad and me, and we’re grateful for you.” Mom looks at me. “And you, Char, are strong and independent. We know if there’s a problem, you will find the solution.” This time she touches my arm. “We also know if we need you, you’ll be here for us.”

  “Okay, who are you, and what have you done with our mother?” Another loose-tongue moment, but I just can’t help myself. This whole discussion has rocked my world.

  “Now, don’t think just because I’ve had a vulnerable moment, that I’m going to stop giving you advice. We all should strive to do and be better. But I just want you to know we never blamed you for the divorce.”

  All this time I thought they judged me, that I had disappointed them. I stayed away not wanting to face the pain . . .

  “Well, that’s behind her and she can move on from here, right, Char?” Janni smiles, but she’s not fooling me. She’s trying to get my mind off things.

  “Yeah. Now it’s my turn,” I say. “You see yourselves as manipulative, but I know that stems from caring about others. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be so protective. I’m sorry for the times I resented that. Mom, I’ve needed you to be outspoken at times”—I hope she gets it that I don’t need it all the time—“you’re straightforward, and I appreciate that in a person. I always know right where I stand with you. And Janni, you always challenge me to care more about others. Your friends are testimony of your faithfulness to others.”

  We’re all misty eyed as we get up from our chairs and share hugs. Afterwards, we dab the corners of our eyes with napkins, and the front door shoves open. Stephanie steps inside.

  “Hey, what are you all doing up?” she asks when she walks into the kitchen.

  “We were waiting on you,” Janni says. “Mom wants to meet her one and only granddaughter.”

  Stephanie gasps and turns to Mom, who rises from her chair. They meet in the middle of the kitchen.

  “Welcome to the family, sweetheart,” Mom says before pulling her into a big hug—well, as big a hug as Mom’s skinny arms can give her.

  Stephanie’s eyes tear up. “Thank you—can I call you Grandma?”

  “Well, you’d better,” Mom says.

  She laughs. “Thanks, Grandma.”

  We talk excitedly for a little bit, catching up on Stephanie’s life, some of the things we’ve missed, her first day of school, her first date, getting her driver’s license, and those types of things.

  “Well, now that you’re my granddaughter, I don’t mind telling you, I just don’t think it’s right for a girl to strike out on her own, back-packing halfway across the country.”

  Janni looks at Stephanie and smiles. “You’re part of the family now.”

  The pastor quotes a verse, telling us to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. While he prays, my tears flow. I’m not sure whether they are for me, because I want to hang on to my anger, or for the years wasted in bitterness. The memories I anguished over without seeing the new bitter memories I was creating.

  How could I have been so fooled? Everyone else could see right through me. Janni knew. That’s why she kept telling me to let it go. Still, I had convinced myself that I had surrendered it all to the Lord, that my “feelings” were completely human. In part, they were. There’s a grieving process we go through, but the thing is not to hang on to the bitterness.

  Easier said than done, but thankfully, God did not give up on me. I hadn’t meant to harbor resentment and unforgiveness. It just lurked in the shadowed corners of my heart and festered. The frightening thing is I’m not sure I know how to forgive and make it final. It’s not anything I can do on my own, I know that much. After more tears and praying through the matter, I maneuver myself through the throng of people and make my way to my car, all the while hoping no one sees me or talks to me.

  “Charley, wait up!”

  My stomach flips. Okay, Russ might be the exception. Though I can only imagine how I look now that my makeup is cried off, I turn around. If he screams, I’m running.

  “Hi, Russ.” One look in his eyes, and I can finally admit what my heart has been telling me all along. I’ve fallen in love with Russ Benson.

  “I’ve been trying to reach you.” He falls into step with me as we head for the parking lot. The cool breeze sends his musky scent my way, and I breathe deeply. His hand touches my elbow. “Hey, you okay?”

  Boulder in my throat here. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Not right now.”

  “Okay.” We move forward. “Is there a reason you didn’t return my calls?”

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to sort through . . . things.”

  “I understand. I’ve been doing a little of that myself. So I take it Peter went back home?”

  I nod but say nothing. We walk a little ways in silence.

  “You know, maybe this isn’t a good time, but we never got to eat at Sok’s Restaurant, and it’s not all that far from the plot of ground I purchased. I could take you to lunch, show you my land, and we could stroll the beach together.” His eyes twinkle with hope, and I smile.

  My heart flips at the thought of a second chance. “How could I turn that down?”

  “Really? That’s great.”

  “I need to let somebody know, though, so they won’t worry about me. Plus, I’d rather wear pants to stroll on the beach than a dress, so how about if I go back to Janni’s house to change?”

  “Okay, I’ll go home and change too. Sok’s is a nice restaurant, but you can definitely dress comfortably. I’ll swing by and pick you up, if that’s all right with you.”

  “That works.” I smile. “And Russ”—I look him in the eyes—“just so you know, I did not initiate or expect that kiss you walked in on. We really were just good friends.”

  Russ tips my chin with his fingers. “I’m glad. Now, hurry up and get ready. I’m looking forward to this, Charley.” After giving me a quick kiss on my forehead, he heads for his car.

  twenty-nine

  “Well, how cute you look,” Janni says when they step into the house. “The temperature is warming up out there.” She hangs up their coats. “It might even convince me spring is really here.” She finally turns around. “So I take it you’re leaving?”

  “Yeah. Russ is taking me to Sok’s for lunch.”

  Daniel whistles.

  I grin.

  “You must be excited. Your face is red,” Janni says.

  I wait for Daniel to step out of the room, and I lean in to Janni. “I hate to admit it even to myself, but I think I’m having hot flashes.”

  Janni’s eyes grow wide, and her hand muffles the erupting giggle.

  “Oh, sure, make fun of me.”

  She flaps her hand. “No, no, it’s just that I’ve suspected you were having them, but you never wanted to admit it. From one hot-flash sister to another, welcome.” She extends her hand, but I just look at her.


  “Oh, come on, it’s no big deal. You said so yourself.”

  “I guess. I’ll just make a doctor appointment when I get back to Seafoam.” I walk over to the window and slip back the curtain. “Well, no Russ yet,” I say when I turn back to Janni.

  “You’re going out with Russ?” Stephanie’s eyebrows wiggle up and down, and Carol laughs beside her.

  “Yep. He’s going to show me the lot he purchased too.”

  Janni’s eyebrow shoots up here.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Well, I hope you don’t mind that I’m not staying for lunch.”

  “It’s just that much more for us,” Blake says, bounding down the stairs with Ethan right behind him.

  “Don’t you listen to him, Aunt Char. We’ll save you some for later,” Ethan says.

  “Glad somebody loves me around here,” I say, giving Ethan a hug.

  “Aw, I was just teasing.”

  “I know.” I laugh and give Blake a squeeze.

  Upon hearing Russ’s car pull up outside, I yank on my jacket and turn to the boys. “See you kids later.”

  It takes everything in me not to bounce down the porch steps to meet Russ, who is already walking toward me.

  Extending his hand to me, he says, “You look great.”

  “Thank you.” The warmth of his hand and the compliment send a shock of emotion through me.

  “I hope you’re hungry.” He pulls open the car door, and I step inside.

  “I could eat a horse,” I say, sliding into my seat.

  Russ gives a hearty laugh, then leans down and plants a quick, unexpected kiss on my lips. His lips are moist, soft. “That’s what I love about you.” He closes my door and steps around to his side of the car, leaving me speechless and my mouth dry. That’s what he loves about—me ? My lips are totally stuck to my gums. Couldn’t move them if my life depended on it.

  Once inside the car, he starts the engine and turns the radio on to an easy listening station, allowing romantic songs to filter through the car.

  My heart palpitations are at an all-time high here. I’m beginning to wonder if this guy is good for my health. My fingers absently rub across my lips as I relive what just happened, but as soon as I realize what I’m doing, I jerk my hand down.

  “I heard you were interested in the Tuckers’s property?” Russ says with a glint of amusement.

  Though he’s talking about the jail episode, for a moment I consider telling him about the commercial thing, but I decide to wait and get his take on it first. “Maybe a little too interested.”

  He laughs. “They’re sure nice folks. I hope they find the right buyer.”

  We discuss the acreage and property. Treading easily, I say, “Maybe they could get it zoned commercially and get someone out there.”

  Russ shakes his head. “I don’t think so. I think it would break their hearts. Not to mention the county folks would be up in arms. Between you and me, I’d buy the property before I’d let that happen to those sweet folks.”

  “Well, it’s not like it would hurt them. They’d make a lot of money.”

  He turns to me. “We both know money isn’t everything, Char.”

  A ping of shame stabs my heart. Is that my problem? Have I made money and status too much of a priority in my life? Instead of showing the town how successful I’ve become, they’d all be mad at me over the deal. Still, if I can convince the Tuckers it’s a good thing, then everyone else, including Russ, would be all right with it, wouldn’t they?

  The hostess seats us at a corner table beside expansive windows that overlook the distant lake beyond a parklike setting of benches, lampposts, and a sandy beach.

  After praying over our meal, Russ grabs a dinner roll, scoops a pat of butter onto it, and begins spreading it with his knife. I follow suit.

  “Look, I’m going to cut to the chase and get right to business.” Once his butter is spread, he puts his knife down and looks at me. “I had no right to react the way I did upon seeing you kiss Peter. It’s your life, and I have no claim on you. I’m sorry.”

  I’m not sure what to say, because Russ did overreact, but no more than I did when I saw him and Linda together at the coffee shop. To make matters worse, I’m a little disappointed with his comment, because the truth is, I want him to care that Peter kissed me.

  “It’s all right. But before we go any further, I think it only fair to warn you, I have a black belt in karate.”

  His mouth breaks into a wide grin. “So I’ve been duly warned.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning, if you get out of line again, I might have to hurt you.”

  He grabs my hand, holds it next to his cheek, then lightly kisses my fingers, one by one. His eyes never leaving my face, he whispers, “Please don’t.”

  The scent of the filet mignon coming from my plate fails to tempt me. Butterflies in my stomach have chased away my appetite. Another dry-mouth moment.

  One final kiss on the back of my hand and Russ clears his throat and releases my hand. He picks up his fork. “So Daniel tells me the syrup process is pretty much over, and he plans the final cleanup for next week.”

  “Yeah.” The comment makes my legs weak.

  “Then what?”

  I choke down a swallow of salad. “What do you mean?”

  “Back to Maine, your job, all that?” Russ holds his fork midair while waiting for my answer. When is the last time a man paused with bated breath for my answer to anything?

  “Yeah, I guess.” Even as the words leave my lips, I want to snatch them back. Everything has played out exactly as I wanted. I’ll have my syrup. Time with the family. Now I go back to Maine. That was the plan. Falling in love was not part of the plan.

  “You know, Charley, you may not believe this, but I hadn’t intended to get involved with anyone again. My wife—well, I made some mis-takes with her. Didn’t let her know how much she meant to me nearly as often as I should have.”

  I’m not sure I want to hear this. My heart is too raw.

  He grabs my left hand again, his blue eyes turning my heart to liquid. “I don’t want to make that same mistake with you.” His thumb gently massages the back of my hand.

  Putting my fork down, I give up on the meal. I’m just not into it. The conversation, yes. The meal, no.

  “I don’t know if you could ever feel that way about me, and I’m not asking you to tell me right now. I just wanted to tell you what was on my mind so I would have no regrets.”

  I smile, not knowing what to say.

  Once more he drops my hand and lifts a weak grin. “I’ve taken you by surprise. I’m sorry.”

  With a little too much eagerness, I say, “No, no. I’m, um, glad you told me.”

  His eyes penetrate mine again. “You are?”

  The look on his face and the way he says those two words squeeze around my heart and send a ribbon of warmth through me from head to toe. I smile and nod.

  We continue on through our meal, talking over town happenings and his dental business, then make our way to the beach.

  “You sure you’re warm enough?” Russ asks, adjusting my scarf so it’s up farther on my neck. His fingers brush against my skin, causing it to tingle. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to have someone fuss over me this way. “Your mom tells me they’ll be going back to their condo shortly.” He pulls on black leather gloves.

  “That’s good to hear.” The tide rushes to the icy shore, dashing the air with a cold mist. Sunlight bathes the lake with a soft glow.

  Russ laughs. “Why is that? You ready to get them out of Janni’s house?”

  “No, I mean, it’s good that she said they’d both be going back. With all that ‘he’s-trying-to-kill-me’ business, I wasn’t sure if Mom would go back.”

  “Oh, that’s right. She’s been doing a lot better on that, hasn’t she?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why do you think that is?”r />
  “I have no idea. She’s still reading her books.”

  “Odd.” He points to the right of us. “There’s my property, but I’m not sure we can get up there from here, dressed in our coats and all.”

  The property is built up and away from the shoreline, which will give him a beautiful view of the lake once he gets his house built.

  “It’s gorgeous, Russ.”

  He laughs. “I guess there’s not much to see but ground anyway, but it gives you an idea of where I’ll be building and what the view will be.” He turns back to the lake. “I’ve always wanted a house out here.”

  We talk about his house plans, and I can hardly wait to get back to my sketches and see what more I can come up with. The breeze sprays a fine mist toward my face and invigorates me. Surprising both of us, I tuck my arm through his and squeeze.

  “I’m so happy for you.”

  Russ turns to me, the sunlight catching the sparkle of blue in his eyes. With a tenderness that strikes deep into my emotions, he buries his hands in my hair and brushes light kisses against the sides of my face, my cheeks, my nose, and finally my lips. The sound of water rushing to shore echoes in my mind as our lips meet again and again. The slight stubble on his face, the scent of peppermint on his lips makes me heady, causing my mind to spin out of control.

  And in this very moment, I know that because of Russ Benson, my life will never be the same.

  “ Weren’ t we just here?” Blake asks with an ornery glint in his eyes as he and Ethan step through the front door Friday night.

  “No, just seems like it,” Janni says with a chuckle, pulling her boys into a hug. “We’re just getting ready to settle in the kitchen for some hot chocolate. Want some?”

  “Sure,” Blake and Ethan say.

  “Get your things put away, and come join us.” Janni makes her way into the kitchen. Daniel is already at the table, clipping coupons from the paper. I’m getting supplies out for Janni to make the chocolate.

  “Since everyone else is gone, now seems the perfect time to tell the boys, don’t you think, Danny?”

  He looks up from the paper and takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”